Taking College With Retards
by ICanHazCheeseBurgerRawr
Summary: This kid is an idiot. How the hell did he even get into college anyway? Even worse. He's my roomate. Life couldn't possibly get any worse. T for romance! **Zemyx!**
1. Chapter 1

**Me: My new Zemyx story! :O Oh yeah!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned KH, Demyx would be a mermaid, and Zexion would probably an emo with a strange eating disorder, this is why I don't, because my ideas scare disney. And...**

**Yeah. **

**Enjoy!~**

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College, a nightmare for most people, but, a dream for me. Who doesn't want to get a much better intellegence level? I'll tell you who.

Idiots.

Anyways, back to the point. I'm heading to college, and it's going to be fun, enough said. But, honestly, I don't know why my parents even hesitated to give it to me. I mean, it wasn't because I was gay was it? If it was well then screw them, but they certainly did look rather well, weird. It was as if I asked them for a magical pony from Hades.

All I had gotten was an akward stare, the money, and an 'I love you'.

Jeez, mom. That's probably the best gift you've ever given me. Atleast she let me use my car and head to college, she's always been really picky with that thing, there was no real reason though, it was a piece of junk.

Honk.

Oh look, I'm here. Great. I'm probably so late that I missed all of the classes so I get a free day. I walked casually up to the door, looking around, the college had informed me right when I called them that I was going to room...

101, geez. And I was staying with...

"Demyx...Pe-"

"Hey! Hey! You're the person I'll be staying with right? Wow! This is great! We can eat popcorn, watch movies, become besties, (A.N: Oh, you'll become _besties_ alright.) And then maybe-" I interrupted the strange haired blonde, the same way he interrupted me.

"I assure you I am not willing to do any of those things, all I will be doing is studying." He rose a brow, and then burst into laughter. I just looked at him as if he were partly insane, which I'm sure he was.

"Y-you're on of the studying types aren't you? Ha! Do not fear! Demyx shall help you! I will get you out of your shell!" He nodded as if he were almost proud at the thought of helping me.

This kid is an idiot, how the hell did he even get to college?

"I don't need help, I'm merely in here to learn, leave, and then get a job." Came my much too monotone reply, usually that scared away the people I was talking to, but he just standed there, all bubbly, and happy, all sickening, and un-educated.

"Oy, Emo! What'ya taking?" Now I'm emo? Psh.

"Science."

"Musical stuff."

"I see."

"Mhm, lets go! I'll show you our dorm."

Sigh.

The dorm was actually pretty nice, but there was one thing that caught my attention.

Sitars.

Everywhere.

Hung.

On.

The.

Walls.

With.

Names.

My god, who am I beginning my life with? This is kind of freaky now that I think about it.

"Ehem, Demyx?" I stared at the blonde for a moment, wondering what level of insane he was.

"Pshya?" Came his highish voice. (Not the drugged type, I would never let my Dem Dem smoke! NEVAH!)

"Why the hell is there sitars all over the place?"

"Don't talk to Caitlin, Eve, Autumn, and Red, that way! You monster!"

Once again.

Face.

Palm.

Well, Zexion, you have yourself a handful, and a problem.

Oh god.

I'm going to have to help him study!

"Waaaaaaah!"

"Hey! What's wrong?"

YOU.

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**Me: :3 I tried to make Zexxy a little OOC so that the story would seem smoother, but, uh...xD Nevermind, next chapter is coming up soon.**


	2. Flowerboy Arrives

**Me: LOL TROLLFACE.**

**Disclaimer: Hence the name, Pete and Hayner was made, and hence the name, I don't own Kingdom Hearts. I also don't own the stupid songs that Dem Dem is singing.**

**Warning: Involves violence. ...with sitars. :D**

**Um, um, ummm. YEAH.**

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This kid was driving me INSANE. A whole night with just, "What is love? Baby don't hurt me don't hurt me no more!" "P-p-p-pokerface, p-p-p-pokerface." "I'm bringing sexy back, yeah!" And the one he kept repeating.

"She saw us banging on the counter! Wasn't me! She saw us banging on the sofa! Wasn't me! She even saw us in the shower! Wasn't me!"

Mhm, did that sum Demyx up for you?

"Zexxxy!" Speak. Of. The. Devil. UGH. I flipped of strand of hair out of my face, and stared.

"What?"

"I got a new sitar!" He smirked. Oh god, no.

"Jesus ch-." I was stopped, with a loud shout filled the air. And that shout just happened to say.

"Sassshhhaaaaaa!" He practically screamed, what was up with him? God, Zexion, there goes your wrist and your ears! Wait, forget the wrist part.

It was a blue sitar, he had pulled out, I was going to burn that sitar one day, he was a great player and all, but...

He's Demyx.

The most annoying brat in school. But for some reason I'd be sad to leave the brat. Stupid teenage hormones. He's probably Sitarsexual anyway. If such a thing exists. It should, he's clinging onto the thing as if it were his firstborn.

That's another thing about college boys.

Sometimes, we act like girls, and sometimes, we do really stupid things. Heck, it was only my fifth day here and I saw atleast five people streaking, getting detention, and then streaking some more.

Was streaking even fun? What if it was winter and you did that? Frostbite, for sure.

"I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE WOAAAHHHOOOO! I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE! WOOOAAAHHOOO!" He started hollering, for some strange reason, someone heard, because they burst through the door, and did this sissy dance while going.

"And does it feel good! Alrighty now!"

Stupid pink-haired gi- whatever, that was.

I swore I saw flowers to, man, that is just beyond sad, putting fake flowers in your hood to look, handsome.

"They're not fake, I picked them from Roxxane this morning."

Oh, dear god.

Someone is going to die soon.

HOPEFULLY DEMYX!

"DEMYX!"

"EEEEEP!"

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**Me: It's so short (LOL THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.) I FEEL SAD.**

**WELL. I'M HEADING TO BED NAO.**


	3. Kiss Kiss, Song Song, Slit Slit

**Me: YAY NEXT CHAPTURD.**

**Disclaimer: Me no own KH. I swear.**

**:D**

**Warning: Yaoi.**

**:D  
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He kissed me...the idiot kissed me...on purpose. What the hell?

I was just sitting down discovering rare diseases and he just came over and literally got on my lap and kissed me, turned on spongebob, (Which, the author does not own.) and just watched it.

Well...erm...

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**(DEM DEM POV)**

Teehee, he's blushing. I am so evil! Axel was right, just kiss him when he least expects it, and then you can watch Spongebob. I didn't know I surprised him this much though, he's just sitting there and blinking.

Oh well.

I love him anyway!~

Should I kiss him again so I can tell you guys his reaction? I know you guys follow us! Hi! (A.N: FANSERVICE JUST FOR YOU, MELODIOUS, HYPERKIWI, AND IMNAMELESS! :D)

I'd kiss him anyway though, because he's a sexy Zexy-chan.

Hehe! I could make this one ALOT more romantic if I wanted to, I bet you all would like that. When in doubt kiss Zexy-chan out! Hrm...I'LL DO THIS!

Smirk. Smirk.

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**(ZEXY-CHAN POV! :D)**

HE KISSED ME AGAIN.

What the hell...

What the hell...

"What the hell was that you retard?" I glared at him, throwing up my foot and kicking him off of my lap. He let out a soft 'umph' when he fell, and gave me teary eyes.

"It...it was the fans. I swear!"

"The...fans?"

"Yes, the fans Zexy-chan! T-they've been telling me to do naughty things for awhile now!"

"..."

"I speak the truth!"

"..."

"Eeh, you okay Zexy-sexy-chan?"

Kick.

"Owie!"

"Idiot, you can't just go up to a person and kiss them."

The retard stole my first kiss, godamnit. Sure, I was gay, but just because I was doesn't mean I'd hook up with my male roomate. He must be obssesed with me or something.

Not that I min- what am I saying?

Ugh, just take deep breaths, Zexion, deep, breaths.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale-what now?

"Zexxxy! Looook...looook...Spongebob is singing with Patrick." He jumped up and down, and I just stared at him. He was the highest level of insane.

"Your point?" I placed a hand on the couch, once again, staring at him.

"LETS SING IT!"

(A.N: The following involves a singing Demyx, and a forced to sing Zexion, with Zexion's own version of the song.)

"F IS FOR FRIENDS WHO DO 'STUFF' TOGETHER! YOU IS FOR 'YOU' AND 'ME'! N IS FOR 'ANYWHERE AT ANY TIME AT ALL' DOWN HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA!"

Oh dear god.

"F is for the fear your going to fear when I light you on fire. U is for the undying years you'll go on with no head. N is now shut the hell up before I bust your face into the closest wall you retard."

"That's not really nice, Zexxy!"

"It wasn't supposed to be."

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**:D**


End file.
